El Capitán - Daniel Habif

Beating Self-Sabotage/Recognizing and Overcoming It

"You can't do that!" "That's way too difficult!" "If you try, you'll probably just fail anyway." These statements sound as if they're coming from a tyrannical and cruel person with a mission to destroy self-confidence. Unfortunately, all too often, we can be the tyrant and our target can be our self.

Negative self-talk is something we have all probably engaged in at some time. When it rears its ugly head on a regular basis it, it can lead to self-sabotage, and can stop us achieving our goals and dreams. 

What's worse is that we usually don't recognize that it's even happening. Instead, we attribute our lack of success to inadequacy. This, in turn, strengthens the negative messages we feed ourselves, and we get caught in a self-sabotaging cycle that can be very difficult to break.

The tell-tale sign that you are sabotaging your self is when you grind to a halt when you're trying to achieve your goals, for no rational reason. The skill, ability and desire are there: it's just that something stops you moving forward.

When you feel that you can't do something you should be able to do, or that you shouldn't do something, even though you know deep down that you want or need to do it, self-sabotage is at work.

There are some common themes in self-sabotaging behavior. See if you recognize yourself in any of these examples:

Procrastination

• Knowing you should be working on something, but putting it off again and again.
• Starting projects, but never quite finishing them.
• Feeling unmotivated or unable to proceed, even when there are lots of exciting opportunities.

Unfulfilled Dreams

• Dreaming of doing something, but never doing anything about it.

Worry

• Fretting over things that really shouldn't matter.
• Fearing that if you fail others will think less of you.
• Worrying that if you're successful, your friends won't like you any more.
• Doubting yourself and your abilities even though you "know" you are very capable.
• Feeling stressed and anxious, and perhaps suffering from unexplained depression or panic attacks when trying to achieve something important to you.

Anger

• Using aggressive rather assertive communication and not taking steps to change this.
• Destroying relationships with others (family, friends, co-workers) with anger, resentment or jealously.

Feelings of Worthlessness

• Exaggerating other people's achievements, and diminishing your own.
• Taking even unfair or misguided criticism to heart.
• Letting others put you down.

Whatever your personal self-sabotaging behavior is, you MUST overcome it if you are to make the most of your career. If you allow yourself to engage in negative self-talk, you erode your self-confidence and self esteem. And with every failed attempt, you "prove" to yourself that you can't or shouldn't do the thing you want.

And as you continue spiraling down, you become more and more frustrated, discouraged, and angry with yourself. These feelings trap you and keep you from doing whatever it is you need to do to break free.

Fortunately, you can escape self-sabotaging behavior and this starts with recognizing the negative messages you send to yourself.

Breaking the Cycle of Self-sabotage

1. Recognize Your Self-Sabotaging Behavior

In order to stop self-sabotage, you first need to recognize your own self-sabotaging behavior. Ask yourself:

• What goals have you had for yourself for a long time and never been able to accomplish?
• What do you consistently fail at, for no obvious reason?
• Are there particular areas where you find yourself procrastinating or putting off making a decision?
• Are you suffering from lack of motivation to do something that you should want to do?
• Do you find yourself unreasonably angry or frustrated, and is this affecting your relationships?
• Is there an area where other people (and in particular, your boss) consistently get frustrated with you? or
• Is there something in your life that nags at you and causes you dissatisfaction because you know you could do it, or do it better?

Ask yourself questions like these, and tune in to the situations where you may be sabotaging yourself.

2. Monitor Your Negative Thinking

Think about what you say to yourself when you engage in this behavior. Write down all your negative thoughts, however silly or unrealistic they may seem.

Tip:

The ideal time to do this is when you're engaged in the behavior. As you do, monitor your "stream of consciousness" and write all the negative self-talk down.

If this isn't realistic, use imagery  to recreate the situation in your mind so that you can experience the automatic thoughts, or try to recall what you were thinking last time it occurred.

3. Challenge Your Self-Sabotaging Thinking

When you know what your negative self-talk is, or you find yourself behaving in some way that is preventing you from achieving what you need or want to do, ask yourself:

• What deeper thoughts lie behind this self-sabotaging thinking?
• Are these thoughts rational, and based on any clear facts?
• Are past unsuccessful attempts unnecessarily preventing you from making a positive change?

• 4. Develop Self-Supporting Behaviors

  Having identified and defeated the false rationale for your self-sabotaging behaviors, you are now free to start rebuilding your self-confidence . Ask yourself:
  • What can you say to myself that is positive or encouraging?
  • What options do you have? Is there more than one way to achieve your goal?
  • Can you build self-confidence by setting and achieving much smaller goals, on your way to achieving the big ones you've not achieved in the past?
  Turn your assumptions around and put them in the correct perspective. Align them with positive beliefs about what you can accomplish. When your skills, beliefs and behaviors are aligned, you will have the right mental, emotional, and physical states to do whatever you set your mind to.
  Then use your answers to come up with a message that inspires you to move in a positive direction, for example, "Even though I doubt that I can complete this project on time, I know I have the resources and skills I need to get me through. When I start tackling the project, I know I will release a lot of the stress and anxiety I have been carrying around while I've been procrastinating."

  Tip 1:

  Take a look at other people around you who are doing what they set out to do and living the life they were meant to live. Do they actually have better skills than you? Have they been given opportunities that you haven't?

  Probably not, at least initially. What they have is a belief they can do whatever they want to do. They tell themselves they can accomplish their goals and dreams, and then they set in place a plan to achieve this.

  Tip 2:

  The approach in this article is similar to the approach explained in our Thought Awareness, Rational Thinking and Positive Thinking  article. Read this to find out how you can turn your rational thoughts into powerful positive affirmations.
  Turning your dreams into reality requires solid planning and lots of work and effort. To start the process, however, you need to believe in yourself and your ability to actually do it.

  Self-sabotaging behavior cuts this belief off at the knees. Negative self-talk is an easy pattern to fall into and a difficult one to break out of. But by being aware of negative self-talk, you can ward off the effects of self-sabotage before it wears away your self-esteem. Start today, by tackling your sabotaging messages and behaviors, and put yourself on a path toward greater satisfaction and fulfillment.
• Retrieve from https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTCS_95.htm
• 1-16-17

Behavior and consequences

Consequences make it clear to a child what not to do, so they’re handy to have in your behaviour management toolkit. You can tailor consequences to different situations, but consequences are always best when combined with a focus on your child’s positive behaviour.

About consequences

A consequence is something that happens after your child behaves in a particular way. A consequence can be positive or negative.

There are times when you might choose to use negative consequences for difficult behaviour. For example, you can use negative consequences to enforce limits and reinforce rules when simple reminders haven’t worked.

It really pays to put some thought into how and why you might use consequences. If you overuse negative consequences or use them badly or inconsistently, they can have surprising and unwanted effects.

So it’s always best to focus more on giving your child attention for behaving in ways that you like. This usually means you’ll need to use negative consequences less.

Behaviour and consequences

When it comes to consequences, there are three common scenarios:

• Your child behaves in a particular way and receives a positive consequence. This increases the likelihood of the behaviour occurring in the same circumstances in the future. For example, you praise your child for sitting and eating his meal at the table.
• Your child behaves in a particular way and avoids a negative consequence. This increases the likelihood of the behaviour occurring in the same circumstances in the future. For example, your child takes her muddy boots off at the front door, so she doesn’t have to help clean the mud off the floor.
• Your child behaves in a particular way and receives a negative consequence or no consequence at all. This decreases the likelihood of the behaviour occurring in the same circumstances in the future. For example, your child throws a toy, and you put it away for the rest of the day.

A consequence that seems negative to you might be positive to your child. For example, your child’s favourite activity is the sandpit. If your child bites another child while playing with some blocks and is moved away to the sandpit, this will actually encourage his behaviour. To him, it looks like the consequence of biting is getting to play in the sandpit!

Natural consequences

Natural consequences can be an effective tool in your behaviour management toolkit.

Sometimes it’s best to let children experience the natural consequences of their own behaviour. When children experience the results of their behaviour, they can learn that their actions have consequences. They might learn to take responsibility for what they do.

Here are some examples of using natural consequences:

• If your child refuses to put on a coat, let her get cold.
• If your child won’t eat, let him feel hungry.
• If your child doesn’t complete her homework, let her fail the assignment.
• If your child breaks a rule on the sporting field, he’ll have to take the penalty.

These are important but hard lessons, and life is often a better and faster teacher than parents are. And you don’t have to be the unfair, bad guy. You can feel for your children, but saying ‘I told you so’ will probably upset them.

Sometimes you do need to step in to protect children from the natural consequences of behaviour. The consequence of dangerous behaviour could be serious injury, and the consequence of persistently avoiding schoolwork can be not doing well at school. Sometimes natural consequences can actually reward antisocial behaviour – for example, a bully’s aggressive behaviour can be rewarded when a victim ‘gives in’.

Related consequences

Related consequences often work well as part of behaviour management too.

A ‘related consequence’ – sometimes called a ‘logical consequence’ – is when you impose a consequence that is related to the behaviour you want to discourage. For example:

• If a child is being silly and spills her drink, she must wipe it up.
• If a bike is left in the driveway, it gets put away for the rest of the afternoon.
• If children are fighting over a toy, the toy is put away for 10 minutes.

The advantage of related consequences is they get your child to think about the issue, they feel fairer, and they tend to work better than consequences that seem irrelevant. But it’s not always easy or possible to find a related consequence.

Losing a privilege

When you use this type of consequence for behaviour management, your child loses access to a favourite object or activity because of unacceptable behaviour. The ‘privilege’ isn’t necessarily related to the difficult behaviour. For example:

• A child who isn’t cooperating with his mum might lose the privilege of a lift to footy training.
• A child who swears at her dad might lose TV time.

When it comes to choosing the object or activity that your child will lose, think about the overall effect. For example, missing a game for a team sport might affect the whole team, not just your child.

Time-out is another type of consequence. It involves having your child go to a place – a corner, chair or room – that is apart from interesting activities, and other people, for a short period of time. It can be used for particularly difficult behaviour, or times when you’re both feeling very angry and you need to take a break from each other to calm down.

How to use consequences effectively

One of the most important things about consequences is to use them as a response to your child’s behaviour, not to your child himself. This way your child will know that he’s loved and he’s safe – even when you’re using consequences.

Here are some other ways to make consequences more effective.

Make consequences clear and consistent
If children clearly understand what you expect them to do, and you regularly encourage them for doing it, they’re less likely to do things that require consequences. Having a clear set of family rules can make expectations clear for everyone.

Wherever possible, explain consequences ahead of time so they don’t come as a surprise. If you talk to your child about possible consequences, she’s less likely to be resentful and angry when you put consequences into action.

If you use consequences in the same way and for the same behaviour every time, your child knows what to expect. For example, you might always use a time-out for hitting.

It’s also important to apply negative consequences to all children in the family. Even very young children will be upset if they see other children not being treated in the same way as them.

Keep consequences short
The advantage of short consequences is that you quickly give your child an opportunity to try again and to behave in a way that you like.

For example, if the television is turned off for 10 minutes because children are fighting over it, they quickly get another opportunity to solve the problem in a different way. If it’s turned off for the rest of the day, there are no more opportunities that day for them to learn to manage the situation differently.

And a long consequence can end up being worse for you than for your children – a child deprived of his bike for a week is likely to get bored and cranky!

Get the timing right
It’s good to warn your child before you use the consequence. This gives her a chance to change her behaviour.

For example, ‘Guys, this yelling is just too loud for me! If you can’t work out what to watch on TV without screaming at each other, I will turn it off for 10 minutes’. Beware of not following through – this can send the message that you’re ‘all talk but no action’.

The exception to giving a warning before a consequence is where you have a well-established family rule. There might be important rules where a consequence immediately comes after your child breaks the rule.

When you do need to follow through with a consequence, it will work better if the consequence happens as soon as possible after the behaviour.

But it’s best not to impose a consequence immediately if you’re feeling very angry. You might overreact and be too harsh. Instead, say something like, ‘I’m feeling very angry at the moment. We’ll talk about this again in a couple of minutes when I’m feeling calmer’.

Adjust consequences to children’s needs and abilities
Reserve consequences for children over three years. Children younger than this won’t really understand consequences, particularly if they don’t understand the connection between their actions and the outcomes of those actions. Consequences will just feel unfair to them.

It pays to implement consequences calmly and in a neutral tone. Try not to make it personal – instead of talking about a ‘bad child’, talk about the rule and the child’s behaviour. Getting very angry or frustrated makes the child more likely to think about how mad you are (which can be rather entertaining, scary or exciting) rather than about learning from the situation.

Retrived from: risingchildren.net on 10/2/16

ADHD Children? Here are 5 ways to improve their focus

Getting a child with ADHD to concentrate can be a real challenge. Here are some easy and fun strategies to help your child improve his ability to focus.

1. Give directions while playing catch.

Kids with ADHD can be easily distracted or daydreamy. To help your child improve focus, try giving him directions while passing a ball back and forth. Ask him to repeat the directions every time he throws. Later, he may use the visual memory of throwing the ball and having fun to trigger the verbal memory of what you told him.

2. Play “Freeze! Focus!”

One of the best times to help your child improve his focus is when he isn’t supposed to be concentrating on anything. Try playing a round of the game of “Freeze! Focus!” When he’s least expecting it, say, “Freeze! Focus!” and have him freeze in place (start with 10 seconds and build your way up). When time is up, ask him to describe three things he saw while he was frozen. Eventually, you can put up signs around the house that list rules and chores and ask him to focus on them while he’s frozen.

3. Make memory musical.

For thousands of years, people have used music as a tool to remember and pass down information. You can do this, too—even if you’ve never been the musical type. Try creating a tune to letters while your child is spelling out a word. Clap and chant to a beat to accompany the natural rhythm of your child’s chores. Experiment with your child’s favorite songs for a fun, low-stress way to build concentration.

4. Do all sorts of puzzles with your child.

There are many types of puzzles that can help boost your child’s concentration while building fine motor skills, too. But keep in mind that puzzles don’t always have to be something you touch. Word games, like logic puzzles, use the power of deduction to help your child discover answers by relying on his mind, not just his eyes and hands.

5. Make the day into a story.

Many kids love to be the center of attention. Ask your child to describe his day as if he were recalling a favorite book or movie, with him as the main character. This can help your child internalize his daily routine and the people who have leading roles in his life.

Tomado de: https://www.understood.org

7/9/2016

15 años después de los humanos: Cuando nos encontramos con un viejo amor

Hay momentos en la vida que no entendemos porque pasan las cosas. Personas llegan y personas salen a lo largo de nuestras vidas. Un día, le pides a Dios con todas tus fuerzas que ya no quieres sufrir más en el amor y aparece en tu vida un viejo "amor" del pasado. Un amor que nunca floreció porque era prohibido y no diste oportunidad a que sucediera nada porque sabias que estaría mal.

Quince años han pasado y te encuentras a ese viejo amigo en una red social. Y como nunca habías sabido nada acerca de el, sigues pensando que su vida sentimental está comprometida y sólo lo saludas para saber como esta.
-Que tal como estás? tanto tiempo, que bueno encontrarte por aquí.
- Todo bien estabas bien perdida, yo ya estoy retirado cuidando nietos y tu?.........

Pasan varios días, y se me ocurre continuar la conversación.
-Perdona es que el otro día estaba trabajando, pues estoy fuera de la isla. Me tuve que ir buscando un mejor futuro para mis hijos. Tienes una conversación de varios minutos y sin querer le das al botón de hacer llamada y Upss! sale sonando, rápidamente cancelas la llamada y pides disculpas.
- Se canceló tu llamada
- Ah si perdona es que este celular es muy sensible y se marcó. Espero no causarte ningún problema.
- Yo no tengo problema con eso. No tengo quien me chequee mi teléfono...
- Y tu esposa? que paso con ella?
- Hace 4 años que me divorcié...
La conversación continuó, y yo tratando de hacerme la fuerte... solo quise parecer como la más madura e intelectual. Cuando por dentro tenía una caricatura de esas que pones en el messenger, dando brincos de felicidad porque este hombre que nunca se dió cuenta de lo mucho que significaba para mi, era al fin un hombre libre. :)

Para hacerles el cuento largo, corto... como decimos los puertorriqueños, el y yo estamos viviendo momentos muy lindos a distancia. Nos hablamos todo el tiempo y tenemos planificado un encuentro romántico dentro de unos días. Después de 15 largos y olvidados años. No sé que nos depare el destino, pero esto que sentimos los dos es tan intenso y tan bello que tenemos miedo de echarlo a perder.

Ambos sabemos que estamos arriesgando el corazón y que lo que nos espera son momentos de prueba. El tiene planes de mudarse para EU, pero no inmediatamente. Es una historia de novela de Corin Tellado

Adictos al sufrimiento

El amor es uno de los afectos más básicos del ser humano. Todas las personas necesitan afecto, cariño… para poder vivir, crecer y desarrollarse de una manera sana. Si no hay afecto, se retrasa el crecimiento de los niños, les bajan las defensas, aumenta el número de enfermedades, y surgen problemas de estrés, depresión, problemas de autoestima, etc.

Cuando nos sumergimos en una relación emocional, de pareja, sabemos que siempre hay riesgo de que no funcione, de salir lastimados, de que la otra persona nos abandone, de que puedan surgir críticas… nos sentimos vulnerables. No obstante, los beneficios de estar en una relación de pareja parecen ser tan altos que la mayor parte de la gente está abierta a arriesgarse y tratar de construir una relación, una unión de intimidad en la que “te importo y me importas”.

Hay otras personas que están totalmente cerradas a involucrarse en una pareja y huyen activamente de ellas. Creen que el sufrimiento será tan terrible que no les merece la pena los beneficios o el placer que pudieran obtener. 

En este artículo vamos a abordar un tipo específico de relaciones como “La adicción al sufrimiento”. Seguro que todos conocen a alguna persona con estas características, o tal vez ustedes mismos han pasado por esto: Se ve claramente cuando una persona está enganchada a una relación que no funciona, que es dañina para la persona y le hace sufrir, y sin embargo, se ve incapaz de abandonarla”. Se da con mayor frecuencia en mujeres,  aunque también hay hombres que presentan estas características.

¿Por qué una persona se mantiene en una relación que, al menos aparentemente, sólo le trae sufrimiento?

Para dar respuesta a esto hay que remontarse a la infancia de la persona. Suelen provenir de ambientes en los que uno o ambos progenitores se relacionaban con conductas destructivas de maltrato (críticas, gritos,  indiferencia, golpes, abusos sexuales, alcoholismo e infidelidad). El niño crece con la idea de que “esto es lo normal”, y aunque sus sentimientos iniciales son de rabia, miedo, tristeza… se ven invalidados y pasa a transformarse justificar la conducta desviada de la pareja. Es tan fuerte la necesidad de un niño del afecto de sus padres, que ante la ausencia de este, o ante un afecto negativo, se transforma y se distorsiona la idea y el niño interioriza que “el sufrimiento es amor”.

Al llegar a la edad adulta, inconscientemente, eligen a aquellas personas con las que pueden seguir repitiendo el patrón al que tuvieron que acostumbrarse de pequeños. Si se fijan bien, verán que suelen sentirse atraídas por personas frías, inaccesibles, personas que van a lastimarlas. Es muy común que sus parejas tengan problemas como alcoholismo, drogas, continuas infidelidades, que sean fracasados y que vivan en la fantasía o delirio de grandeza….

Es común en estas mujeres la idea de estar dispuestas a sufrir sin límites, en nombre del amor. Creen que si se esfuerzan, si trabajan lo suficiente, podrán cambiar a su pareja y conseguir lo que tanto anhela, la felicidad. Vuelven a repetir lo aprendido en la infancia, buscando solucionar un conflicto que se remonta allí, tratando de lograr control sobre la situación: si me porto bien, si hago esto o lo otro, conseguiré al fin que me quieran.

¿Qué hace que estas personas se enganchen a relaciones de sufrimiento?

La clave está en lo impredecible.  Si mi padre, o mi pareja, fueran siempre duro, violentos… optaría por ignorarle y buscaría personas que me pudieran dar amor y afecto. En cambio, en todas las familias, por más dura que haya sido su infancia, siempre hay pequeños momentos en el que los padres muestran algo de cariño, un gesto de ternura, una palabra amable… y son estas excepciones las que hacen que primero de niños y después de adultos nos enganchemos a ellas, buscando activamente reproducir esas situaciones en las que hemos conseguido el afecto. La persona piensa que está en su mano,  que con amor podrán conseguir que esa persona cambie, sea más afectiva… si se esfuerza lo suficiente, en lugar de admitir la realidad: que no está en su mano, que esas personas son inaccesibles y que la excepción, no es más que eso, excepción, y jamás se convertirá en habitual.

Por otra parte, el cambio, lo nuevo, siempre da cierto temor. Está en la cultura popular: “más vale lo malo conocido que lo bueno por conocer” esta es una de las justificaciones. Están acostumbradas a este tipo de situaciones en el que sentirse víctima es algo habitual, es lo que en psicología se conoce como  “zona de confort”, y la persona siente cualquier cambio, aunque éste sea para su bienestar, y la falta de conflicto, como una amenaza. No es cierto que encuentren placer en el sufrimiento (aunque sí les da mucha intensidad a sus vidas),  es simplemente que les resulta familiar.

Poder salir de este tipo de relaciones no es fácil, y requiere ayuda psicológica o psiquiátrica. No se trata de dar consejos y decir “mereces a alguien mejor”, sino que el cambio es mucho más profundo y requiere de tiempo y esfuerzo que la persona debe estar dispuesta a realizar. El primer paso es reconocer que el problema es de ella.

Consejo a mis amigas: si te interesa un hombre, trata primero de ver como es su relación con su madre y con sus hermanas. El hombre que es mal hijo y también mal hermano, es muy probable que también sea un mal marido. OJO, huye inmediatamente de ahí. Investiga con preguntas ingenuas para que el no sospeche, es muy fácil saber como es su relación con la madre y las hermanas. Y si tienes la oportunidad, ve directamente a la casa de la madre y busca conocer mas del tipo de hombre con el que te estas relacionando. 

Para terminar, si les ha gustado este tema y quieren más información al respecto, les recomiendo un libro que lo explica muy bien y muy fácil de entender: “Las mujeres que aman demasiado”, de Robin Norwood.

Nuestro cerebro y la depresión

¿Qué pasa en nuestro cerebro cuando estamos deprimidos?

Las lágrimas son la forma de aliviarnos cuando nuestro cerebro acumula demasiada tensión y necesita expulsar esa ansiedad. Después de hacerlo, se segregan endorfinas que nos relajan y nos hacen sentir mejor.

El cerebro es un órgano grandioso del que vamos conociendo ya muchas cosas. Como por ejemplo, cómo lo definen determinadas emociones, como es el caso de la tristeza. Y es que, son muchas las ocasiones en las que nos sentimos tristes, deprimidos, situaciones a lo largo de nuestra vida en las que hemos de hacer frente a eventos personales que nos ponen a prueba.

La tristeza es una emoción básica del ser humano, al igual que la alegría, el miedo o la rabia. Experimentarla supone que nuestro cerebro actúe de un modo diferente produciéndonos a su vez una serie de efectos de los que en ocasiones no somos conscientes. Sentimos más hambre, estamos más cansados, buscamos la soledad, y lloramos. Tal vez te interese saber qué función cumple todas estas realidades en nuestro cuerpo, y de qué modo podemos afrontar la situación de tristeza para salir lo antes posible de esta situación, evitando así enfermedades de más gravedad que pueden bloquear gravemente nuestra vida, como es por ejemplo una depresión.

La tristeza es una de las emociones qué más impacto tiene en nuestro metabolismo ¿qué quiere decir esto? Significa que son muchos los cambios que sufrimos en nuestro cuerpo y nuestra mente por esos problemas externos, por esas pérdidas, por esas desilusiones, por esos caminos en los que, en ocasiones, hemos de tomar las personas. Pero veamos cada uno de esos aspectos que se suceden en nuestro cerebro.

La importancia de la empatía

El cerebro tiene varios mecanismos de defensa para poder afrontar la tristeza. Es la emoción más reconocible en el ser humano, cuando vemos a alguien sabemos de inmediato si está sufriendo o no, es decir, desarrollamos empatía hacia ella. Esta dimensión permite poder aportar apoyo a las personas que están tristes, y todos sabemos cuánto nos ayuda poder disponer de amigos o familiares en los que sustentarnos. Señalar también que la dimensión de la empatía suele estar más desarrollada en las mujeres.

Cuando sufrimos una época de tristeza, el cerebro está increíblemente activo, puede que te resulte extraño, pero las pruebas científicas nos dicen que un cerebro deprimido activa más de 70 regiones cerebrales distintas ¿Cómo es esto? Es sencillo de entender, mientras estamos tristes recordamos, pensamos, sufrimos, razonamos en busca de soluciones o nuevas alternativas, apenas dormimos dando vueltas a muchos aspectos, de ahí que estén activos el hipocampo, la parte frontal del cerebro (corteza prefrontal) y la corteza cingulada anterior, lo lóbulos temporales… etc..

Hemos de tener en cuenta también que el cerebro utiliza casi el 20% de nuestra energía, pero en situaciones de tristeza, necesita aún más, siendo la glucosa su principal necesidad. Esto provoca por ejemplo que sintamos más hambre, más ansiedad por comer y por buscar cosas dulces. En ocasiones, esta es la causa de que subamos de peso cuando estamos tristes o deprimidos.

La necesidad esencial de llorar

Los estados de tristeza suponen acumular una gran dosis de tensión en nuestro cuerpo. Si bien la secreción lágrimas cumplen de por si una función biológica para hidratar el ojo, debemos diferenciarlo de las lágrimas emocionales o el llanto, básicas también para nuestra salud. El cerebro acumula demasiada tensión y necesita expulsar esa ansiedad, siendo pues las lágrimas el modo más adecuado para aliviarnos. Después de hacerlo, se segregan endorfinas que nos hacen sentir mejor y más relajados. De ahí que te recomendemos no esconder tus ganas de llorar cuando lo necesites.

Un cerebro entristecido genera menos serotonina, un neurotransmisor asociado a la motivación. Si no logramos salir de este estado tomando nuevas decisiones y asumiendo lo ocurrido, a largo plazo este déficit en serotonina puede generara que suframos enfermedades como la depresión, obsesiones compulsivas y/o arranques violentos. Pero hemos de ser fuertes y encontrar en esos momentos de introspección nuevos recursos con los que salir adelante.

Aprender de lo vivido

Si de algo nos sirve la tristeza es para aprender de lo vivido, todos sabemos que la existencia no es un camino llano fácil de transitar, hay piedras que superar y nuevos senderos que encontrar, realidades de las cuales debemos aprender. Es así como seremos más fuertes y capaces.

Tomado de  http://mejorconsalud.com/que-pasa-en-nuestro-cerebro-cuando-estamos-deprimidos/ Aug-28-15